Friday, December 29, 2006

Belles! Belles Belles!

If you listen to 1960's French teen idol Claude Francois singing Belles!Belles! Belles!, his 1962 hit cover--en Francais-of an Everly Brothers song, you might think it is a happy go lucky song, especially if you have seen the Scopitones footage of Claude doing the Twist in the snow while miming the song.

If you want to see the Scoptones video of the song, it's on YouTube.

However, the lyrics of the song are a little bittersweet. The rough English translation will show you what I mean.

Nice song, though. If only his French cover of "I Want To Hold Your Hand" was on the same CD. :)

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Thursday, December 28, 2006

"Most favourite German identical twins"

Here is a tribute page about Alice & Ellen Kessler. They are twin sisters who played Vegas and did a cover version of "Johnny Angel" (?!?) on their way to becoming singing stars in Italy and Germany. Warning, English mangled freely!

Or you could try this Wikipedia entry in English, if you like.

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Wednesday, December 27, 2006

The Burning Log starring "The Hand"

Over the holidays, The Province newspaper interviewed Craig McAllister. No, you don't know who he is, but you do know his hand.

Mr. McAllister made The Burning Log, that video shown on TV stations as far away as New York state, which shows logs burning in a fireplace. That's his hand that you see poking at the logs and adding wood.

You may read the story here.

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Monday, December 25, 2006

Toto, I don't think we are in Kansas anymore

I was rereading this post from a year ago, and I thought that may be so much interest in my explaining what really happens at a charismatic healing crusade that I should post it again. This particular post came to mind because I've come to befriend someone else who was at the meeting, unbeknownst to me. Like the young lady in this post, she also gets "zapped" by God at the drop of a hat. And sometimes even without the drop of a hat.

I'm still at the Dan Aykrord-like "What light?" stage, but my friend is working on me. :)


You may recall that I was wondering about the lyrics of a 1950s pop song. Specifically, I was wondering what "She did the chicken in the middle of the floor" might have looked like.

Well, after recently attending a charismatic Christian religious meeting in Vancouver, which featured a "fire tunnel", I think that I may know. :)

Charismatics, as you may know, believe that the Holy Spirit works today as He did in the days of the book of Acts. Some of these manifestations can be speaking in tongues, or being "slain in the Spirit" (being prompted to faint due to God touching your heart in some way). One technique in the more "out there" edges of charismatic practice is called a "fire tunnel". In a fire tunnel, ministers and prayer team members form two rows facing each other. Those receiving prayer walk between the two lines, allowing those praying to lay hands on them and pray for them to be blessed.

I was at the meeting for another reason that didn't pan out as I had hoped. After a good message (I attend a church with Pentecostal leanings, so I am not averse to trying to glean Biblical truths from charismatic ministers), they announced that there would be a "fire tunnel" at the front of the auditorium. Not seeing any
baskets of snakes for the assembled worshippers to pick up and play with nearby, I decided that it might be interesting to look and see what was happening. (Once a reporter, always a reporter. Although I may not be working in journalism for the time being, I expect that my "news nose" will never lose its sense of smell.)

I got in the line-up as it snaked up and down the aisles of the church. I noticed one young lady about four or five people in front of me. She seemed a bit inebriated, but I knew that she certainly had not been drinking. She was doing half-twirls, and then falling to the ground giggling. She kept bending at the waist. It all looked involuntary on her part, but she had a big smile on her face.

I mentioned to another lady beside me "You know, I think the tunnel is supposed to be down there at the front." She just smiled.

We eventually meandered our way down to the front on the auditorium. I entered the tunnel. At first, it was relatively calm, with people gently laying hands on me as I walked past and saying things like "Fresh fire." and "More Lord".

As the tunnel progressed, those who were praying seemed to build in intensity. I noticed that people further in front of me were starting to be bent backwards or forwards for some reason. Others were slumping to the floor.

As I got toward the end of the line, the pray-ers were doing things like jumping up and down like pogo-stick users. One guy roared in my face, and I just laughed a bit back at him, only to feel a lady blowing on my face. I could tell this, infortunately, because I felt a drop of spit fall on my face.

As that demonstrative young lady that I had seen earlier went around to the back of the line for another go, I stayed down in front to watch, as people went through. Now the pray-ers were hopping, moving back and forth and jumping up and down. It reminded me of the toga party in the movie Animal House without the liquor and debauchery.

Finally, the prayers went into the line themselves and the tunnel collapsed into itself with groups of twos and threes of people laughing or crying softly.

The evening was wrapping up, and as I was leaving, I saw the young lady who could not wait until she was in the tunnel. "I hope that you were blessed," I told her. "It looked like you were having a lot of fun." She said "Thanks!", and I left.

At the other side of the auditorium, the young lady caught up to me. "Hey," she said. "Can I pray for you?"

"Okay, but why would you want to do that?" I said.

"Freely you have received," she smiled, "Freely give."

So, I let her bring me back to her friends, and they prayed for me. The young lady prayed that my hunger for God would be satified and that He would touch me.

"Do you feel warm or hot?" she asked. (Warmth is often a test amongst charismatics to see if the Holy Spirit is working on someone.)

"Yes, I feel a little hot," I said, "but I am wearing my jacket." I felt a little bit like Dan Akyroyd's character in The Blues Brothers when John Belushi's character has his revelation from the Lord in James Brown's church. [Belushi is bathed in sunlight while Aykroyd is reduced to asking "What light?"]

Looking back at all this, I am grateful for that sympathetic young lady's sweet intentions that I should be blessed too. If I were to think like my old Report colleagues Colby Cosh and Kevin Michael Grace, I would also have to ask myself if I was laying myself open to empty emotionalism.

I do have one thought, though. So often faith is an intellectual thing, where the mind observes a set of moral principles. That said, men are beings that feel, with hearts and emotions.

For faith to work it has to touch both the mind and heart.

So, when people are looking for a light at the end of their tunnel, I'm not surprised if they happen to look for this light at the end of a "fire tunnel".

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I will

Here's a link to a YouTube video of Billy Fury singing I Will from 1965. It's his cover of Dean Martin's hit and probably comes from an Engish television show such as
.

It's nice to see performing as it is one of my favourite songs of his. It's nice to see a , even with Portuguese scrolling across the bottom of the screen.

Are Christian ladies sexually promiscuous?

Blogger Anthony, at The Institute, suspects, based on a post in his comments, that young Christian ladies are sexually voracious, bouncing from bed to bed:

I'm pretty sure this is something that your church does not talk about. There was a guy at my church that had a girl actually break into his apartment just seduce him into having sex (I'm not sure where she was spiritually, but I know that this is not an isolated case).

What I would like to see is some polling and surveys. I think that perhaps you might see sex amongst the engaged, but rampant casual sex in Christian environments is something that I would not suspect is happening. I sympathize with Anthony's moral watchdog stance, but in the various church circles that I have frequented, I don't see a lot of evidence of this. (Granted, I go to morally conservative churches. If we are talking about the U.S. equivalent of the United Church of Canada, all bets are off.)

Not to be unkind, but this scenario reads like something that one would read in a porn magazine. "I attend a small mid-western church. I thought that everything that I read in your magazine never happened. However, after a Bible study last week, I...."

Anthony is right that we should consider this issue, but I would like to see more evidence before deciding that we have a problem.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

If things do not get any easier after I understand, the songwriters will give me a refund?

Bad

Bad is when you buy a 49 cent single of the song that was even dramatized on Incorrect Music due to its mawkishness: Things Get A Little Easier (Once You Understand) by Think. Alas, due to a nasty crack, it skips, but I might be able to make it playable. (I already have it taped off the Incorrect Music show.)

"Your son is dead!"

(It's one of my guilty pleasues this week, along with the instrumental version of The Teddy Bears' Picnic, by Australian surf-rock band The Atlantics.)

Worse

Worse, however, is when you are a nighclub deejay and you mix this song into your dance music medleys as this person did:

"One of our best mixes with that song came when we mixed it with the Moody Blues 'Question' and Alice Cooper's 'Clones'. This combitnation was made for each other. "

The Freddie, Frankie Avalon, this post has it all!

Some kind soul has posted a video of I'm Telling you Now where you can see Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello bravely trying to learn what became The Freddie.

The Scopitones video of The Tornados performing their instrumental Robot while costumed in robot outfits is even more surreal. If you think that the video is horrible, you can cheer a little when the French riot police show up at the end.

Do the Freddie!

In honour of the late Freddie Garrity, a link to a TV performance of
Do The Freddie, the short-lived dance craze that did not quite sweep the country.

If something less frantic is to your taste, here's a link to the Joanie Sommer's cover version of I'm Telling You Now, in which the singer looks like she has taken a couple of "crankylyzers" before the TV cameras were turned on.

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Free sandwich with each post

I see that Jon Lovitz has a blog. And 44,000 MySpace friends too.

You know you're a blogger when...

...you have a dream that you were woken in the middle of the night and couldn't fall asleep again, so you posted on your blog!

It's never happened in real life, and no,I didn't eat pizza right before going to bed.

Mmmm, Camel helper

Courtesy the Hillbilly Housewife website, a brief list of various
foods mentioned in the Bible.

Press sein gluck

Here's an interesting fan site about the German edition ofPress Your Luck, and other game shows.

Can God heal "bed head"?

It looks like Danish faith healing evangelist Christian Hedegaard has a neat ministry, despite the fact that he looks like he just woke up in some of the pictures he posts on his website.

I just hope that he is forgiving as well as godly. :)

Uncle Don, Howard Stern guest host

Those liking bloopers might be interested to read this explanation of an urban legend: Did children's radio show host Uncle Don say "There, that oughta hold the little bastards!" while on the air?

Turkish Superman is better than Superman Returns. No, really.

I see that the inimitable Seanbaby has finally updated his website

Mein Kampf, the movie!

I read an intestng book lately. It's The 50 Greatest Movies Never Made", by Chris Gore.

Author Chris Gore has found some fascinating examples of movies that never made it to the screen. However, I find it hard to believe that David O. Selznick saved the rights to the words "Mein Kampf" in case he decided to make a movie based on Hitler's book.

Aparrently, Selznick went so far as to consider using Ben Hecht and Alfred Hitchcock to make the film. Wow.

If you look for dates at a family reunion, you might be a bogan

Tim Blair has found a website devoted to the Australian version of the redneck, the bogan.

The Flannelgraph Antichrists, starring Warren Kinsella on tuba

What could be a cuddlier way to explain the end of the world? Try Stories in Revelation for Tots to Teens--in flannelgraph form!

Update: I think that "The Flannelgraph AntiChrist" would be an usual name for a blog, now that I think about it. I wonder if someone is already using it.

Actually, it would make a better name for a punk band, now that I think of it

I didn't know that Estes wasn't a defense contractor

Now it can be revealed--1950s footage of ICBMs exploding when they are not supposed to, namely during top secret tests.

The Great Energy Crisis of 1996

Here's Superkids, a 1975 propaganda comic by the Canadian federal government which explains that if we don't save energy there will be a huge energy crisis in 1996.

Hat tip: Colby Cosh.

What's really sad is that I remember reading that comic in elementary school!

The Masked Pooper strikes again

Finally, a website that asks the question "Who is the mystery pooper annoying the custodians at a small Eastern U.S. college?" I think that The Diarrhea Bandit! is probably a put-on, but you may be amused enough by the idea to check it out yourself.

Show us your bullet-proof vests!

Here's a series of pictures of pretty soldiers in the Israeli Defense Forces. (Who knows, maybe this will result in search engine hits for me other than "Is Ben Mulroney gay?)

Hat tip: Tim Blair.

There is no evolution. There is a list of animals that Chuck Norris allows to live

Sam Kirk has posted some amusing "facts" about Chuck Norris.

Moderately Secret

Recently, I read a potboiler on the End of the World. I was intrigued to find, however, that it was the second novel that I had read in the space of a year to mention Mount Weather as part of the plot.

Mount Weather, as the link about will tell you, is a small bomb shelter facility near Washington D.C. deigned to help U.S. government officials survive a nuclear attack. Its status as secret notwithstanding, we do know that Mount Weather is relatively small and spartan. However, according to the novels that I read, Mount Weather is the space of a small city with its own subway and even a manmade lake.

Let's hope that Mount Weather becomes obsolete, shall we?

The ur-MST 3K

It seems that there was an early ancestor of Mystery Science Theatre 3000, the show which featured a man and his robot friends in silhouette, adding wiseacre comments to a film as it was shown on your TV.

A few months ago, Turner Classic Movies aired The Movie Album, a Vitaphone short from 1931. Warner Brothers collected some snippets of old silent movies and had a narrator comment and joke on the soundtrack. It's nowhere near as funny as MST3K. Yet, it is interesting to see that the latter idea for the TV show may have been so smart that a diiferent version of it had been tried before. (Not to mention the Fractured Flickers TV show.)

Was there an ur-MST3K?

I wonder if the MST3K writers ever heard of or saw any of the Movie Album shorts. Probably not, as only a handful of the Vitaphone shorts appear to have been made.

Vacation pix

Blinkit has a series of very interesting posts about his trip to Bavaria this summer. He's posted some photos as well.

Jeremy Lott, the man, the legend

I'd like to remind you that my former colleague, Jeremy Lott, has started a new blog to promote his new book In Defense of Hypocrisy.

This geological formation, endorsed by Joe Meek

Some eBayer is offering a pebble that he found on the ground near 304 Holloway Road for sale. No bids yet, but when you can see a mutant giant Cheeto sell for over a million in one eBay auction, who knows what will happen?

No, Mom, I don't want it for Christmas. :)

What, no "She was poor, but she was honest"?

Ruggers know that rugby songs are supposed to be naughty, right? Well, this site of Rugby Songs must belong to a church league side because the selections include the lyrics of songs like Swing Low Sweet Chariot, Danny Boy and I Want To Hold Your Hand!

I'm waiting for The Goldwaters' world tour

After reading Kathy Shaidle's post on National Review's list of 50 Greatest Conservative rock songs, I am again reminded of why it's dangerous for me to be asked to participate in most such surveys of this type. I have an affinity for the awful, and I would put some selections by a group like The Goldwaters on my own list.

Suffice it to say that the lead singer of The Goldwaters observed many years later: "Our album wasn't 'nearly' unlistenable...it was completely unlistenable."

Sumo!

Here's an interesting post on one blogger's visit to a sumo wrestler training academy.

A killer lede

To kill or not to kill, that is the question. But before answering, let's pause for a moment.

Nature columnist Sharon Wootton, whose photo in The Olympian newspaper reveals her to be a sweet looking old lady, begins her column "Killing not effective solution to problem of crows" in a newspaper from earlier this year.

The Playboy before Playboy

Here's a link about The National Police Gazette, the first men's tabloid. Your turn-of-the century ancestor might have snuck a peak at it while waiting for a haircut at a barbershop near you.

These 1940s Police Gazette cover girls will give you an idea of what the magazine looked like.

I wonder if they are hiring. :) (Trap For Subway Mashers! West Virginia's Shocking Film Racket! Sorry, just practicing...)

Run O.J. Run!

O.J. Simpson poses for a comic book ad for sneakers in the 1970s.

It talks. It Slices. It Dices. It Makes Juiliene Fries.

Blogger Lee Hartsfeld has posted a 1961 recording of Bell Telephone's first attempts to make a computer talk.

Der Pfeffermint Twist?

In the 1960s, you could count on every American hit song spawning various European language cover versions. A German-language cover of The Peppermint Twist, which I picked up for 50 cents at the Vancouver Record Collectors Association swap meet on the weekend, is just one example of many that I could cite. It was sung by Caterina and Silvio (with "Werner Muller und sein Orchester"!).

My German is almost non-existent, but I can tell that the lyrics of this cover version were rather freely translated. I'll give it a 78, though, because it has a good beat and it is easy to dance to.

Mah Nah Mah Nah, tonight on Spice

Here's an interesting item about Mah Na Mah Na, that annoyingly persistent tune. I must add, however, that I do not believe Wikipedia's assertion that the song made its debut in a Swedish soft core porn film.

Support the Dartmouth Indians

I'm pleased to see that there's a new book about the history of The Dartmouth Review, the conservative U.S. student newspaper.

As someone who did a feature on one of the controversies plaguing the Review back in my CUP days, I'm pleased to see that the paper is still chugging along.

Dartmouth Review fans will be pleased to know that I wore a Dartmouth Indian T-shirt duirng my days at UBC. My colleagues at the very liberal UBC student newspaper didn't understand that they were supposed to be annoyed at me when I wore the T-shirt in SUB241k.

Of couse, I may have annoyed lots of people with my T-shirts back then. I also wore my Christian-made "No Surfin' In Hell" T-shirt to church.

Victor Appleton, taken behind the woodshed

Like many fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000, which made fun of bad movies and film shorts for many years on Comedy Central and the SciFi Channel, I regret that the show is off the air. However, wiseacre fans are borrowing the show characters to take wisenheimer pot shots at Internet spam and other printed materials using the same format as the original show.

Here's a link to John Nowak and Matt Plotecher's wonderfully funny take on Tom Swift and His War Tank, an inane boys book from the World One era. They make fun of the entire book.

"Misting" is now a verb describing giving something in print the MST3K treatment. It's something I would like to try someday...it looks like fun. By the way, a hat tip to Keith Palmer for posting one of my fave MISTings.

I think I went to high school with Zizi La Twisteuse

Everyone needs to watch a video of Sixties rockers The Tornados performing their song Robot while dressed in robot outfits. You can get a DVD copy of this at a new site about Scopitones, that early French ancestor of MTV.

Beware though...it seems that Scopitones are popular amongst U.S. troops serving in Task Force Scopitone overseas.

If you've never seen Les Classels, Quebec's singing Men From Glad, one of their hits is mentioned at the site too.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

If I understand but things do not become any easier, can I ask the songwriters for a refund?

Bad

Bad is when you buy a 49 cent single of the song that was even dramatized on Incorrect Music due to its mawkishness: Things Get A Little Easier (Once You Understand) by Think. Alas, due to a nasty crack, it skips, but I might be able to make it playable. (I already have it taped off the Incorrect Music show.)

"Your son is dead!"

(It's one of my guilty pleasues this week, along with the instrumental version of The Teddy Bears' Picnic, by Australian surf-rock band The Atlantics.)

Worse

Worse, however, is when you are a nighclub deejay and you mix this song into your dance music medleys as this person did:

"One of our best mixes with that song came when we mixed it with the Moody Blues 'Question' and Alice Cooper's 'Clones'. This combitnation was made for each other. "

Saturday, December 09, 2006

The Freddie, Frankie Avalon, guitar-playing robots...this post has it all!

Some kind soul has posted a video of I'm Telling you Now where you can see Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello bravely trying to learn what became The Freddie.

The Scopitones video of The Tornados performing their instrumental Robot while costumed in robot outfits is even more surreal. If you think that the video is horrible, you can cheer a little when the French riot police show up at the end.