How to tell if you write for a small-town newspaper

Diana French, columnist for the Williams Lake Tribune, wrote this in a recent column:

I still haven't seen the Vagina Monologues because of conflicts with other events. This time the conflict was the Sock Monkey Auction at the Elks Hall sponsored by SPAN the Station House Gallery. I believe the monkey business was satisfactory as a fundraiser. I had never seen the Elks so elegantly decorated. There were monkeys all over the place of course but the eye catchers were the "palm" tress with balloon coconuts....

Hmm, Vagina Monologues or the box supper at the Lions. What to do...

At least Mrs. French has the good taste to not be enthralled by the Vagina Monologues.