MANAGEMENT RULES

SICKDAYS
We will no longer accept a doctor's sick note as a proof of sickness.
If you are able to get to the doctor, you are able to come into work.

SURGERY
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you
need all your organs. You should not consider having anything
removed. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a
breach of employment....

More of this funny piece is posted at Savland.