Sunday, July 27, 2003

Prime Minister Homer

Politicians in New Zealand are using a recent Simpsons comic about Homer Simpson becoming Prime Minister of New Zealand to take pot shots at each other.

Well, I don't think that having Homer as your PM would be a bad thing. Now if Homer would be the Prime Minister of Canada, there could be some distinct advantages....

Ten Reasons why Homer Simpson should be Prime Minister of Canada:

1. He speaks English.

2. Homer's avid consumption of concession stand snacks adds much needed funds to Canada's national sports teams.

3. Canada's new Finance Minister: C. Montgomery Burns. "The National Action Committee for the Status of Women is here to ask for their annual grant, sir." "Release the hounds."

4. Currently threatened national postal strike averted as both union and Canada Post resolve to sign anything to avoid being in the room with annoying federal government negotiator Ned Flanders.

5. Homer's appointment of his father Abe Simpson to the Senate leads to unstoppable popular groundswell for elected Senate.

6. Alberta alienation calmed after "summit meeting" between PM Homer and Alberta Premier Ralph Klein at St. Louis Hotel in Calgary. Klein takes advantage of Homer's "tired and emotional" state to win important concessions for provinces.

7. There is no number 7.

8 Annoyed Homer, now an avid Canadian, rules that Stanley Cup must be awarded to top finishing Canadian team in the NHL playoffs, as the trophy was originally given to the top Canadian hockey team.

9 If Homer Simpson runs as a Liberal, this leads to boost of political right's fortunes as voters recall quiet dignity of Stockwell Day.

10. Canada's political bloggers, and the former Report writers and editors, get scads of freelance writing assigments and jobs as Homer's antics lead to Canadian "golden age" of political reporting, as entire world buys tons of Canadian newspapers and magazines to learn what Homer is doing now.

[I'd be happy to expand the list if you have suggestions of your own. My e-mail is in the "about" profile at left.]