Augh

It seems that blogger is cranky today. Let's see if this works...

The fatal football

The most innocent of goofs can be percieved as politically fatal. You could have asked Robert Stanfield, the former head of Canada's federal Tory party, who died earlier this week, whether this was so. Political boffins in this linked story argue that this photo of Robert Stanfield dropping a football during the 1974 election caused the Liberals to win, under their younger leader Pierre Trudeau.

Hmm...it would seem that some wise journalist should go into the newspaper morgue and pull polls and letters to the editor from before the football drop, and after the football drop, to see if this theory bears out. My guess...he was also low in the polls before dropping the footbal.

If at first, you don't succeed...

Ezra Levant has announced his formal plans to
replace The Report with a launch of his new magazine, the Western Standard, in March.

I'll be watching to see how the magazine treats social conservatives, but I have decided to subscribe. Fans of AR should too, or be willing to at least kick the tires before taking this car for a test drive.

Another Report blogger!

I'm happy to note that Alberta Report alumnus Michael Jenkinson has reactivated his weblog, which is also permalinked at left.

Please read his neat blog while I toil at my new, soul destroying, day job.

Three card monte

It looks like a branch of the Alberta government might start seizing assets of the Citizens Centre for Freedom and Democracy in order to pay off the employees of The Report magazine. My friend and former colleague Kevin Michael Grace has the details.

From "Let's change the world!" to "Let's change where we put the deck chairs before we hit the iceberg."

A bittersweet Canadian Press story today on the death of the Canadian Alliance notes two things. First, that no grassroots movement/party like Reform will spring up for the next generation. Second, that even rightist pragmatists like Ralph Klein are conceeding the next election to Paul Martin.

Klein's quote:

"I don't think given the short time between the vote and the next election that there will be time to garner enough support to win a majority and form a government," Klein said in a telephone interview from a premiers' meeting in Charlottetown.

"But I think we will have a much more viable opposition that will provide in the future the groundwork for perhaps another Conservative government."

How is this going to inspire anyone to do anything for the party? "We can have a Mulroney Tory style government in 2008!" Oh joy.

Slippery slope, indeed

Social conservatives are oftenm criticized for reading ominous precedents into court cases. Well, the precedent being set in this Washington Times story doesn't apply in Canada, but it can illustrate what sometimes happens with these sorts of issues:

A Utah man with five wives is in court fighting to get his bigamy conviction overturned on the basis of the U.S. Supreme Court's June ruling that decriminalized homosexual relations....
....On Monday, an attorney for [Tom] Green — who has spent the past two years in prison — argued to Utah's Supreme Court that the Texas ruling should invalidate laws against polygamy.
"It doesn't bother anyone [and with] no compelling state interest in what you can do in your own home with consenting adults, you should be allowed to do it," attorney John Bucher told the Utah court, according to the Associated Press.
In August, Green, the father of 30 children, filed an appeal of his 2001 conviction on four counts of bigamy.
He is serving a five-year sentence for that conviction and another for criminal nonsupport of his offspring. In addition, Green faces up to life in prison after being convicted of child rape for having sex with one of his five wives when she was 13.
The U.S. Supreme Court's decision in the Texas case also has been cited by attorneys for Rodney Holm, a former police officer in Hildale, Utah, who was convicted in August of bigamy and unlawful sexual activity with a minor.
"Holm raised the issue [of the Supreme Court's ruling in the Texas case] before his trial, but the trial court denied it," Laura B. Dupaix, Utah's attorney general, said in a telephone interview yesterday.....

Max Bialystock, call your office


[A press release, from the Outsider Music e-list]

“THE SHAGGS” EXTENDS THROUGH DECEMBER 20.

STORY OF THE WORST GIRL BAND IN ROCK ‘N ROLL HISTORY
BREAKS BOX OFFICE RECORD AT [INSIDE] THE FORD.

LOS ANGELES, CA — The Powerhouse Theatre Company extends its world premiere
production of The Shaggs: Philosophy of the World, part of the Hot
Properties series at [Inside] the Ford, for one week, through December 20.

The Shaggs is the strange but true story of one of the worst bands in rock
’n roll history—a so-called “outsider” girl group that played in their home
town of Fremont, New Hampshire during the late ’60s and early ’70s. The
three Wiggin sisters: Dot (guitar, vocals), Betty (guitar, vocals) and
Helen (drums) recorded two albums before their father, Austin, died and the
band died along with him. The Shaggs’ first album, “Philosophy of the
World”, was recorded before the girls knew how to play their
instruments. With the attention of Frank Zappa and NRBQ, it has since
become a cult classic.

“This production has an incredible momentum and a life of its own,”
comments producer Andrew Barrett-Weiss. “Shaggs fans are flying in to see
it from other cities. Last weekend, the fourth in the run, The Shaggs
broke the box office record for productions in the Hot Properties series at
[Inside] the Ford.”

The Shaggs: Philosophy of the World has been acclaimed by fans and theater
critics alike. Rob Kendt wrote in the Los Angeles Times, “[A] terrific new
musical...The cast is flawless... By turns hilarious and troubling,
celebratory and darkly ironic, ‘The Shaggs’ moves on its feet as surely as
it moves us. Seldom has so-called ‘outsider art’ struck so close to home...
Critic’s Choice!!” James C. Taylor of radio station KCRW called The
Shaggs “an important world premiere for Los Angeles,” and Jeff Favre of the
Daily Breeze said, “those who attend this world premiere will be able to
say they saw it first.” Fred Shuster summed it up in the Daily News: “The
show is funny, touching, completely wacky and highly entertaining,”

The Shaggs: Philosophy of the World is written by Joy Gregory with music by
Gunnar Madsen. John Langs directs, musical direction is by David O., and
choreography is by Ken Roht. Featured in the cast are Hedy Burress, Joe
Fria, Sarah Hays, Jamey Hood, Hubert Hodgin, Laura Lamson, Rob Moore, and
Steven Patterson.

Hot Properties series is a collaboration of the Los Angeles County Arts
Commission and A.S.K. Theatre Projects, made possible in part by a generous
grant from The James Irvine Foundation.

The Shaggs: Philosophy of the World continues Thursday, Friday, Saturday
at 8 pm and Sunday at 7 pm, through December 20. Tickets on Thursdays and
Sundays are $20.00; Fridays and Saturdays are $22.00; student and senior
tickets are available for $18.00. [Inside] the Ford is located at 2580
Cahuenga Blvd. East in Hollywood, off the 101, across the freeway from
the Hollywood Bowl and south of Universal Studios. Free, non-stacked
parking is available on-site. For reservations and information, the public
should call the Ford Theatres Box Office at (323) 461-3673 or go to
www.fordamphitheatre.org.

###

Spiffy sister

Kathy Shaidle, whose God Rides A Yamaha is a spiffy read, plans to release three new books in the next few months.

Would it be appropriate to say "You go, girl!" in such a circumstance, even if one is terminally unhip?

Art imitates life

On tonight's edition of The Simpsons, Homer builds a suit so he can fight a bear that plagued him in the past. I'll bet that Ian Boothby, a Vancouver contributor to the show, helped to write the episode, because this reminds me of Troy Hurtubise, the Ontario native that has tried to perfect the ultimate safety suit that could protect you from many dangerous perils.

When I did a story on him a couple of years ago for The Report, he was preparing to raise money to perfect his suit by putting on his latest prototype and stepping in the path of a nasty wild bear.

I make Ivory Soap look filthy

Your Ultimate Purity Score Is...
Category	Your Score	Average
Self-Lovin'	80% Never taken out of the packaging	65%
Shamelessness	100%	79.3%
Sex Drive	100%	77.7%
Straightness	100%	45%
Gayness	100%	83.3%
Fucking Sick	100%	89.9%
You are 95.65% pure Average Score: 72.6%
Take The Ultimate Purity Test and see how you match up!

[Comment: This makes sense. I'd take purity tests in college and get scores like... eight.

Although...this test seems a bit deceptive. I am very straight, so to make sense, I should not have a score of 100% straight and 100% gay.]

"Jess, you can't sing, but you have a certain teenage quality..."

Jess Conrad, a minor British pop star of the 1960s, won three spaces on The World's World Record Show compilation. Read more about him and listen to This Pullover, a record which must be heard to be believed, here.

Superman, he ain't

Gone and Forgotten introduces us to The Bee Man and other characters of the odd Harvey Comics universe of the 1960s. Includes art by Jim Steranko!

Lamb Chop gives it four stars

Stay at the Hotel of Sheep. That's what "hotel les mouflons" means in English.

Merci, Quarterback de Lundi Matin

TMQ's Argo Bounce

Tuesday Morning Quarterback, the fine column by Gregg Easterbrook, has found a new home at NFL.com. He'll be doing weekly commentary on the NFL Network too.

Pumpkin pancakes?

Apparently pumpkin packages are a big hit at the International House of Pancakes. For the next week, you can look at the IHOP Pumpkin Pancakes, Top Secret Recipes version of the recipe.

Poor me. One of the big charismatic trends these days is a new push to pursue systematic prayer for others. Alas for me, one of the centers for this is the International House of Prayer in Kansas City. Why couldn't they have adopted the active voice and not the passive, naming it the International Prayer House? I know that whenever I think of IHOP...and its local branch in my city...I think of pancakes!

But then maybe I should be reminded of prayer when I want to eat waffles. Whatever works for God, I guess.

Trophy one-upmanship

During the Heritage Classic game weekend in Edmonton, my friend and former colleague Kevin Steel persuaded his sister to take his nephew downtown to have his picture taken with the Stanley Cup. At the end of his post, he indulges in some "Nyahhh!":

But here's the kicker. When I dropped them off, I said, "And if the Grey Cup is there, get a shot of him with that as well."

It was there. Now how often does a kid get a chance like that? To be photographed beside the two biggest sports awards in the country in one afternoon? It was the Canadian sports harmonic convergence. Only once in Edmonton's history, 1987, have both cups been here. Anyway, I don't have to explain; sports, kids, goals, heroes, glory... And my nephew, remember, is from Vancouver, which everyone knows is a nice place to visit, etc. etc. (hmmmmm) etc. 'Nuf said.

Poor kid. That would mean that he doesn't get the character building experience of walking through eight foot snow drifts to get to school. Uphill. Both ways. ( ;o) )

Blogging goodness

World magazine, which I liked to think of as the U.S. version of my old magazine, has started a weblog. This is something that will 1) raise the profile of the conservative, Christian newsmagazine and 2) give people more reasons to log onto their webiste and see the content and ads therein. I'll note for my friend Kevin Steel that a weblog for our magazine (RIP) is one idea that he proposed to The Report's brains trust that they decided not to pursue.

Be that as it may, there's sure to be lots of bloggy goodness on the World blog for you if you tend to the right side of the spectrum. Check it out.

Snappy, indeed

My link of the day is to Snappy Jackets, a salute to obscure, yet interesting, LP and 45 jackets.

That biography of That Man

Conrad Black is in the news these days after stepping down as CEO of his newspaper publishing empire. The news hook for this CP story today, however, is the publication of his new biography of Franklin D. Roosevelt: Champion of Freedom [?!?!?]. The story notes in passing that it is a laudatory portrayal of the U.S. president.

It's not surprising that Mr. Black might like FDR. After all, Black wrote an admiring biography of big-government "conservative" chef Maurice Duplessis, who believed in using government to build the economy and clobber his enemies when he was premier of Quebec. It's dismaying, though, to think of any "conservative" lauding FDR, when that president exploded the growth of the American government and brought the U.S. fully into an interventionist foreign policy. (For a fuller treatment of this thesis, please consult the old biography on FDR by John Flynn, The Roosevelt Myth.) Old school conservatives like my friend Kevin Michael Grace would know what I am talking about.

Just because a leader like FDR is perceived as a success doesn't mean that he was when judged by history. Conservatives should take note.

Faked fakes

It's appropriate that "Potemkin villages", the historical byword for shams, never really existed according to Cecil Adams. More details at the link.

When our opponents barf, we'll score

I find it hard to believe that the Vancouver Blazers logo--which should be coloured mostly orange with the team named in red according to the sticker that I put on my bedroom door when I was a little kid--didn't make this list of the worst hockey team logos of all time.

Spotted by Colby.

Time for the bumps!

On a happier note, Rick's Miscellany turned one year old on November 7. What an eventful year.

As ye sow, so shall ye reap

My friend and former colleague Kevin Michael Grace makes a lengthy case, with links to documentary evidence that "....[t]he Report was killed. Starved to death by Link Byfield because its continued existence no longer suited his purposes....."

My own opinion, you may recall, is that the Byfields didn't plan hard enough for a future for my old magazine when and if the second generation of Byfields no longer wanted to be conservative journalists.

But, Kevin's arguments give me pause. They raise the question of how much the end of The Report was due to financial non-viability and how much due to the Byfields' own personal priorities. [If worst had come to worst, Link could have offered the magazine to those of us who wanted to continue. The This Magazine model--the magazine is "owned" by an educational foundation yet remains very political--could have been made to work for The Report temporarily while new money was found. Those who wanted to keep the magazine going could have looked for donors and backing ourselves.]

I would advise Link Byfield, given how the messy end of the magazine played out, to demonstrate to his backers (many of whom bought subscriptions to the magazines, bought shares in B.C. Report Ltd. and responded to donation requests) that he has the best interests of the Canadian right at heart, regardless of what that means for his own personal fortunes.

The Canadian right has so much to do that we don't want suspicious backers to be thinking:
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.

A very guilty pleasure

Adam Thrasher created Space Moose (a perverse yet funny cartoon) which ran in the University of Alberta student newspaper, The Gateway, from 1989 to 1999. Mr. Thrasher has taken his own Space Moose website down, but there is a mirror site, the Official Space Moose Home Page.

You can't order any of the e-mail addresses, t-shirts or books advertised there, but all the cartoons and extras that were on the the spacemoose site are there.

My fave Space Moose panel? I regret admitting this, but it is Antlers of the Damned.

A very guilty pleasure

Adam Thrasher created Space Moose (a perverse yet funny cartoon) which ran in the University of Alberta student newspaper, The Gateway from 1989 to 1999. Mr. Thrasher has taken his own Space Moose website down, but there is a mirror site, the Official Space Moose Home Page.

You can't order any of the e-mail addresses, t-shirts or books advertised there, but all the cartoons and extras that were on the the spacemoose site are there.

My fave Space Moose panel? I regret admitting this, but it is Antlers of the Damned.

Good stuff there

Anne, it would seem, has more time for thoughtful posts than I sometimes do these days with my new job. I commend her fine blog to your attention today.

Chretien's looong goodbye

Spotted in this Canadian Press story:

SHAWINIGAN, Que. (CP) - Jean Chretien's long political goodbye stretched on Friday with a return to his hometown - likely his final official visit there as prime minister.

"This is probably the last time I participate as prime minister at an event like this in my riding," Chretien told about 100 businesspeople gathered for the official opening of an industrial energy complex in Shawinigan, Que....

I don't wish Mr. Chretien ill but "probably the last time"?!? What "probably" is there? Perhaps Paul Martin should hire a food taster and some bodyguards

I vant to suck your blood, eh

Here's a page about a soon to be published book on Canadian horror movies:

Consider this: Robert Culp dancing naked in the British Columbia woods! Christopher Lee in his first North American picture ever! Broderick Crawford carried off by a giant man-vulture! Andrea Martin killing Eugene Levy with a mace, and then eating him! John Candy rolling in the dirt in his boxer shorts, sobbing! George C. Scott chased by a haunted wheelchair! Leslie Nielsen disco dancing! Corey Haim kissing a dog! Neve Campbell chased through graveyard tunnels by a slobbering rat creature! There’s only one way to see scenes like these: watch a Canadian horror movie.

Thanks to Kathy for the tip.

Hooray for Fred Saskamoose, and other posts

While I am catching up on a few things, please read my friend and former colleague Colby Cosh's great weblog. He's now a National Post columnist and often posts lots of bloggy goodness.

A fun way for you to avoid working on the computer...

Spend some time browsing at the All Movie Guide website.

The Shaggs--the Musical!

The girl band The Shaggs, famous for being bad, are the subjects of a musical at an L.A. theater in November. Buy your tickets here for the show:

POWERHOUSE THEATRE COMPANY
THE SHAGGS: PHILOSOPHY OF THE WORLD
A musical play by Joy Gregory
with music by Gunnar Madsen

World Premiere


The Shaggs is the strange but true story of one of the worst bands in rock 'n roll history - a real-life, so-called "outsider" girl group that played in and around their home town of Fremont, New Hampshire during the late '60s and early '70s. The Shaggs' first album, "Philosophy of the World", was recorded before the girls knew how to play their instruments and, with the attention of Frank Zappa and NRBQ, it has since become a cult classic. John Langs directs.

Road trip! :)

Do "The Zombie Stomp" while reading this post

Yes, it's a website devoted to New Jersey's greatest B-movie surf band, The Del-Aires, who co-starred in Horror of Party Beach with what the website calls a "bratwurst monster".

Catholics relapsing

While I am catching up on a few things, please have a look at my blogging friend Kathy Shaidle's fine weblog.

The line forms to the right (of course)...

http://www.canoe.ca/EdmontonNews/es.es-10-27-0031.html

Monday, October 27, 2003
Edmonton Sun: Ex-magazine staff still owed
Wondering why ad money isn't going into paycheques

Nearly six months after it folded, some former employees of the magazine once known as Alberta Report say they're still waiting for their final paycheques.

Meanwhile, the Citizens Centre for Freedom and Democracy - the non-profit advocacy group that replaced the magazine - has launched a costly campaign of radio ads against the Canada Pension Plan.

"I'm just surprised that the centre is proceeding forward with these very ambitious efforts when there's still that lingering stuff from the collapse of Citizens Centre Report," said Colby Cosh, who spent eight years on staff at the magazine.

Citizens Centre Report - the final incarnation of Alberta Report - laid off all its employees without notice when it succumbed to financial problems in May[Wrong. It died on June 23. RH].

Cosh, who now does freelance work for the National Post, figures he's owed two years of vacation pay and about eight weeks' severance.

"I don't understand why there's been this silence all summer while people have been struggling to get by. It was a bit startling to see that one chapter had begun without the previous chapter being closed entirely," he said of the radio ads.

"A candid acknowledgement that we're not going to be paid and that we should screw off would be nice, but they've kept us sitting for five months."

Cosh said he's reluctant to seek legal advice, and he still hopes the situation can be resolved.

Kevin Steel, a former senior editor at Citizens Centre Report, says he's owed about $5,000 in severance and holiday pay and is now dealing with the Labour Relations Board.

Steel said Link Byfield, former owner of the magazine and now chairman of the Citizens Centre, didn't seem too concerned about it when he met with him in late August.

"I'm not too pleased," he said.

"It's disheartening."

The magazine's staff were employed by United Western Communications and not by the centre itself, which is a separate entity, Byfield told the Sun yesterday.

"I'm not denying that we owe them money," he said, adding that United Western Communications' bank account is virtually empty. "The amounts are not huge, but they're big enough that people will be concerned about it."

The company hopes to get money back from the federal government in the form of a GST rebate, "which will certainly cover some of it," Byfield said.

[Comment: For what it's worth, I don't think that Link means to stiff us. I say "us" because although I was a freelancer, I had done two weeks of newspaper clippings, my contribution to the Record and all the reporting for a story in the issue that was about to be published when Link decided to kill off the magazine. A "widows mite" to recognize this would be appreciated, but if I don't get it, well, I would shrug and remember the many years of paycheques I cashed from the Report magazines.

That said, I would advise Link that he explain to my former colleagues how he plans to make things good, if he is able to.

Link doesn't want to plant the idea in anyone's head that if Joe Albertan gives them something (like work for pay, in the case of my former colleagues), that he won't follow through on his side of the bargain and try to do what he said he would do. That sort of apprehensive thinking could deter contributions to a political campaign.

I would like to think that Link will do the right thing if he can. But he, more than anyone else, should know that journalists are sceptical and need concrete reassurances--in circumstances like these--that he will try to make things right.]

Don't wait for Harrismania

I like Ted Byfield's column of this morning, which argues, based on history, that Mike Harris may not be the answer for the new federal Not the Liberals But Some Kind Of Conservative Thingy Party. I commend it to your attention.

Rick's Miscellany, now with the Ivan Panin seal of approval

The Gematriculator:
says that according to the number theory of Ivan Panin...

http://www.ricksmiscellany.blogspot.com/ is
31% evil, 69% good

""

Aside to my mother...the Gematriculator lists my favourite evangelist's website (you know who) as 71% bad!

Pay Up

My friend and former colleague Kevin Steel is also perturbed that Link Byfield has money to launch a expensive media campaign without paying his former employees what he owes them.

What my old boss is up to

Link Byfield's new lobby group has launched a campaign to "Opt Alberta Out of the Canada Pension Plan".

Link writes:

The Citizens Centre and Alberta Residents League are working to advance what is now called the Alberta Agenda, which would see Alberta regain control of areas which fall under provincial jurisdiction but have been given up to Ottawa. These include a provincial police force to replace the RCMP, provincial personal income tax collection and a provincial pension plan.

"We want to initiate a province-wide discussion on this important issue," Byfield explained. "In addition to our radio campaign, we are holding public meetings across the province and encouraging the public to take a close look at the issue."

Fair enough, but wouldn't these things benefit the other Western provinces too, such as B.C., which had it's own provincial police force for many years? Indeed, when there was some grumblings amongst local politicians in B.C. that we return to a provincial police force to save money that we outlay on the RCMP I tried, unsucessfully, to suggest that The Report use this as a news peg to write about the issue.

Hopefully, Link will find ways to make these issues relevant to his former readers across the West. They sound like good ideas.

All that said, I do agree with Colby that Link has some unfinished business to take care of. Hopefully some of the pin money left over from this campaign will help with that.

All points bulletin!

If you like my blog, please help my friend and fellow blogger Kevin Michael Grace. He needs your assistance, as explained at the linked item.

Will the real James Bond please stand up?

Thanks to my friend and former editor Terry O'Neill for the following guest post:

Remember last week, when the news was full of stories about the "real James Bond" having died? The man named was Patrick Dalzel-Job.Typical was the Guardian story here.

However, I noticed on page 419 of How the Scots Invented the Modern World, by Arthur Herman (a book that a good Scotsman such as Rick has surely read) that Herman states: "Few people realize that Ian Fleming's fictional spy was supposed to be a Scot....Fleming himself was of Scottish descent; her certainly modeled Bond after a Scot, Commander Fitzroy Maclean, a leading commando during World War II.

A Google search provides many more hits linking James Bond to Maclean than to Dalzel-Job.

Strange, that in all the obits for Dalzel-Job that I read and heard, there was scant acknowledgement given to the contentious nature of the "model for James Bond" assertion, yet most sources say Maclean was the actual model. For example, Jamesbondresearch.com acknowledges that Maclean is the most often mentioned model, but declares Bond is fictional. A good Sunday Herald piece from January 2002 makes the case that Bond was actually modeled on Fleming himself.

Thanks Terry. I feel like I am watching an old episode of To Tell The Truth. "I'm the real James Bond", "No, I am the real James Bond"... Where is Bud Collyer (the 1950s/early 1960s host of the show) when you need him?

PS. I haven't read the book that Terry mentions. Perhaps some day.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians: The Comic Book

Now being sold on EBay by someone with a wry sense of humour:

"The book includes this disclaimer 'The events contained herein are fictional, and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental.' So don't say you weren't warned. Santa Claus DID NOT in fact actually conquer the Martians; even though he probably wanted to. I hope that revelation does not detract from the suspense of this tome, and you still will bid with confidence. "

'Tis the season to be wacky

To get you in the mood, a display of strange and unusual Christmas LPs featuring Colonel Sanders, the Brady Bunch and the Six Million Dollar Man.

Canada's top weblogs

My friend Colby, following some careful calculations, posts his list of Canada's most popular weblogs.

Goatburger! Goatburger! No fries, cheeps! No Pepsi, Coke!

Chicago's Billy Goat Tavern must be a pretty interesting place if it spawned both the Saturday Night Live "Cheesebuggah! Cheesebuggah!" sketch and the curse on the Chicago Cubs. Follow the link to the history of the bar for all the details.

Thanks to Tim Blair.

"'It seems no matter what you do, you don't have a voice.'"

Some western conservatives are dismayed by the proposed Tory/Alliance merger.

A little bird tells me that if The Report was still in existence, we would be all over this story, bringing forward a lot of details and ideas that the Canadian media is going to miss.

Oh, well.

"....It is perhaps useful to be confirmed in one's necessary faith that all politicians, without exception, are savage and false sons of bitches down to the very soles of their shoes..."

Colby on the PC-Canadian Alliance merger deal.

Narrated by Boris Karloff


Which Dr. Seuss character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm Felix Unger compared to this guy

The messiest bachelor suite on the internet:Ben's old apartment.

I'm Felix Unger compared to this guy

The messiest bachelor suite on the internet:Ben's old apartment.

Recall says "I'll be bahhck!"

One online column that argues that U.S. states need more recalls. In Nevada, for examples, there are efforts to recall the Republican governor of that state after he brought in tax increases.

Mmmm, good

Here's a link to Magiric, a cooking and recipes weblog...the recipe at the top as I write is honey garlic chicken nuggets.

No Terminator 4, Detroit Tigers 3

Unfortunately, being elected governor of California will likely end Arnold Schwarzenegger's movie career. Although, some of the Hollywood experts in the linked story won't rule out a return to films entirely.

..

Duck!

I recently finished reading James Cockington's wonderful pop history of Australia in the 1960s: Mondo Wierdo. Here's something from it that will hopefully inspire you to buy the book, which now seems to be out of print but still would be available at places like www.abebooks.com:

[This is accompanied by a newspaper shot of Ms. Bordeaux with a bunch of knives stuck into the wall around her. She has a bandage wrapped around her left arm.]

Michelle Bordeaux featured as the most accident prone human target in a knife-throwing act, Trio Fantastic, which toured the clubs and sidehow alleys of Australia in the mid-sixties. Partner Bob McGowan, often as not
blindfolded, threw the knives and fired bullets at Michelle but had a bad habit of hitting what he was trying to miss. Three times in [the decade], Michelle became a human dart-board. Each time she dismissed the accident as an occupational hazard.

December 1964, Melbourne. Two successive knives gashed her left arm. A crowd of 300 saw McGowan, blindfolded, wound Michelle twice with 30 centimeter knives. She made no sound as the blades slashed her arm and the thrower did not learn of his mistake until his blindfold was removed.

June 1966, Auckland. Michelle was shot in the face during a show at Heathcote Services and Citizen's Club. She put her hand to her face and said "Oh" before running from the stage with blood streaming from her wound. A bullet from the .22 calbre rifle passed through the side of her cheek.

November 1966, Adelaide. Six stitches were inserted in a wound across Michele's left hip after a knife went off target during an act at the Port Adelaide Football Club's premiership dinner.

"In this business you have to expect this sort of thing," Michelle said. "The audience makes me much more nervous that the knives or bullets. The audience just let out a gasp when it happened. I think they enjoyed it."

How to fake faith healing...

...as described in a 1977 interview with erstwhile "evangelist" Marjoe Gortner.

Watch for this Arnold quote from last night in a Democrats TV ad in 2006

"I will not fail you. I will not disappoint you."

Pride goeth before a fall, Arnold.

Bearding the blogger

Colby Cosh comes to terms with shaving off his beard after many years.

Must be nice to be able to grow one without looking goofy.

Campaign slogan: "Yes! Oh God, Yes!"*

The other social liberal/fiscal conservative running for Governor of California.

*Coined by Tim Blair, whose weblog is always worth reading.

Landlord, be sure to ask *nicely* for the rent

The neat news story of the day seems to be the one about the man who was caught keeping a pet tiger in his New York apartment. This story link has video footage of the tiger.

How would Rod Serling have said "D'oh"?

Other fans of original Twilight Zone TV show might like the website The Fifth Dimension, in particular their nominees for The Twilight Zone Hall of Shame

Hmm, I wonder if I will start getting hits looking for "Ben Mulroney, Playboy Bunny."

Courtesy Hot Links, a collection of Playboy Bunny Photo Albums

The Canadian Alliance is finished...

...and 13 other truths about the PC-Canadian Alliance merger talks.

Auditor general calls on RCMP to investigate Radwanski's 'reign of terror'

Okay, after reading the above headline on this Canadian Press story, I'd like to see pictures of the Radwanski guillotine!

Best check the Canadian government phone directory for the name "Robespierre".

"If you want to know anything, ask a mechanic I always say."

My friend Kevin Steel gets his mechanic, Thang Le, to explain why Canada sometimes is more of a "melting pot" society than it professes to be.

Burmese Land is like monkey land...

Due to Raven's kind invitation, I'm a new co-author of the Hot Links weblog.

I began by sharing one of my fave bookmarks. It's Incorrect Music, a website devoted to the show of the same name. Incorrect Music, hosted by Irwin Chusid and Michelle Boule, aired on WFMU (a Jersey City New Jersey co-op free form radio station) from 1997 to 2002.

Here's part of a description of the show from its website:

....We present an asylum of crackpot and visionary music, covering sounds that are atrocious, outsider, blasphemous, or just plain WRONG, from the Shaggs and Shooby Taylor to Shatner.

For our little musical Mütter Museum, we seek the melodically adrift and the harmonically without anchor -- musicians cast away on their own musical islands. A true "Incorrect" artist must be sincere and lack self-awareness. A severe irony deficiency helps. Any humorous overtones to their work must be unintentional. Evoking the name "Weird" Al Yankovic is immediate disqualification from the realms of Incorrectness. We don't play bad karaoke tapes, the Singing Dogs or Mrs. Miller. Dr. Demento ain't our thing.

We don't present comedy — we're engaged in anthropology.

If you are intrigued, about half of the shows are archived here.

It's inspired me to start a little incorrect music collection of my own...

Springtime for Hitler

Mark Steyn writes about Triumph of the Will, the most infamous film of Leni Riefenstahl, who died earlier this month:

....Its language is that of feature films – not Warner Brothers gangster movies or John Ford westerns, but rather the supersized genres, the epics and musicals where huge columns of the great unwieldy messy mass of humanity get tidied and organized – and, if that isn’t the essence of fascism, what is? Riefenstahl has the same superb command of the crowd as Busby Berkeley, the same flair for human geometry (though Berkeley would have drawn the line at giving the gentlemen of the chorus as swishy a parade step as Hitler’s personal SS bodyguard do).

"Do not blow your nose on the towels."

I like April Winchell's Rules For Using The Gym. It would seem that people using her local gym are particularly clueless.

Sorry, no permalink, but please scroll down to "The Rules According to Gym" on her website.

Add ye powederrd cheesse to the boxx of Krafft Dinnyer nooddles...

I've spotted an online transcript of a cookbook (pamphlet, really) of English medieval recipes: A Book of Cookrye, published in 1591.

A sample recipe:

To bake Chickins.
Season them with cloves, mace, sinamon ginger, and some pepper, so put them into your coffin, and put therto corance dates Prunes, and sweet Butter, or els Marow, and when they be halfe baked, put in some sirup of vergious, and some sugar, shake them togither and set them into the oven again..

Hmm, sirup of vergious...won't be able to ask the neighbours for a cup of that.

Thanks to the Medieval/Renaissance Food Homepage.

Gustav Dore, Bible artist

In the 1860s, French artist Gustav Dore did a series of illustrations for a new edition of the Bible. Many of them are posted online, such as these ones he did of the Gospel of Matthew.

A website which reproduces many of these illustrations notes:

His artistic style also greatly influenced some of the early biblical films, especially those of D. W. Griffith and Cecil B. DeMille. In fact, some of the scenes from DeMille's The Ten Commandments (1923 & 1956) look remarkably similar to the corresponding biblical illustration by Doré.

Girls gone baroque

My friend Kevin Michael Grace bemoans the rampant influence of "babes" in marketing "classical" music on The American Prowler's website. He illustrates the increased use of "lipstick lesbian posturing" by posting an odd photo of the all-female "classical" group bond on his blog.

Disciplesses?

The German Evangelical Church has commissioned a feminist version of the Bible. Planned changes incude references to "disciples and disciplesses". No translatrixes are blamed in the linked story.

Thanks Kathy.

Separated at birth?

Compare Ted Byfield, the founder of my old magazine and Sir Robert Menzies, Australia's Prime Minister during the 1950s and early 1960s.

Ted remains one of my journalistic heroes, and he still has a weekly column in the Edmonton Sun that is well worth reading and usually addresses national issues.

Aussie leftists of the 1960s, by the way, nicknamed Mr. Menzies "Ming" after a supposed resemblance to actor Charles Middleton as Ming the Merciless in the Flash Gordon serials. I wouldn't agree, but see what you think.

The daily deal dough

Another great update will soon be posted on Charles Stough's funny blog about newspapering: Newsgorilla. My fave: the newspaper contest that went awry.

Hooray!

Otis Fodder's Friendly Persuasion show, devoted to strange and unusual music, musical rarities and other goodies, is back on the air. Give it a listen to, Sunday and Wednesdays.

Alas, not playable on my computer and not available on demand...but lots of fun to listen to.

Survived by the Purple People Eater

In other music news this week, Sheb Wooley, best known as an actor (in TV's Rawhide and the film High Noon in particular) and a singer of popular novelty songs, has died.

Oh Rob!

Before she starred on The Dick Van Dyke Show, Mary Tyler Moore posed for record covers. Now you can see for yourself one of the reasons why the producers of the show remembered her and called her in for an audition.

Thanks to exclamation mark and Incoming Signals.

Stop press

Toronto journalist Kevin Libin, who has spent three years writing for Canadian Buisness, is to be the new editor of Ezra Levant's new Alberta Report, reports The Ambler. It doesn't hurt that Mr. Libin's family has Scrooge McDuck-vault amounts of cash.

Hmm, expect the new magazine to have few old AR hands, if any at all. Just a hunch I have, as the appointment of an editor is always decisive. I would suspect that Ezra wants to remake the magazine in his own image, which is of course his right. Urban conservatism, with a blend of the old Idler tossed in. Something that doesn't frighten the horses in Toronto.

That makes sense for Ezra to do. He is disinclined to try talk radio, the door to federal politics is barred to him for now after he gave up his chance at a seat so Harper could run in Calgary. Becoming Ted Byfield 2.0 seems to be the best way for Ezra to get the lasting influence that he wants.

Beach thoughts

Secret Agent Josephine likes to sit on the beach and think about stuff too, just like I like to sometimes do.

Thoughtful post that other people should also link to.

Does this make Oprah one of the Four Horsemen?

Who Is The Anti-christ? likes to call people who dismay him "The Antichrist." His latest target: Dr. Phil.

Hmm, let's see...

Has Dr. Phil sold his soul to the devil, eagerly awaiting the commands of the infernal price of darkness? Nope.
Does he have a friend who can bring fire down from heaven? Not unless it's sweeps week.
Does he have a giant image of himself that all must worship? Well, unless he lives in Beverly Hills...no.

Check out his arguments for yourself... :)

Rick the Miscellanist's home engulfed by mushroom cloud after...

Courtesy chemistry students from the University of Minnesota have posted the ingredients for homemade "silly putty" and how to make it. [I guess that you let it harden a bit after it is like "slime".]

If you don't feel like driving to a nearby store, here's how to make liquid nitrogen ice cream. Kids, be sure to get your parents to help with this!

"When Toasters Kill", tonight on Fox

Yes, sticking a knife or fork in a toaster can really be dangerous. The Straight Dope has the details.

Holy bleeding eyes, Batman!

The fine website Retrocrush displays the Worst comic book superhero costumes ever. My eyes!

In other comic news, you might be interested in this review of Weapon Brown, a collection of comic stories that imagine that Charlie Brown and the gang have struggled through a post-apocalyptic Road-Warrior-meets-Happiness-Is-A-Warm-Puppy future.

Nobody will be pulling his football away any more, that's for sure.

Bear saved by falling off tree onto trampoline

There's a video you can watch at the WKMG-TV website.. Thanks to Fark too.

All Ben Mulroney. All the time.

The Ambler tries to figure out why Ben Mulroney is so popular and hazards a guess that the Canadian Idol host was made by Cyberdine systems.

I blogged the news today, oh boy

My friend Kevin Steel, thinking of his days as the Report's internet boffin, has excellent advice as he advises those who would return the publication from the dead: lead with your Internet presence.

Well worth reading.

Lazarus, come out!

It seems that Ezra Levant is trying to bring Alberta Report back from the dead.

Ex-staffers have been wooed and efforts to raise money are underway. All I know is what I read on The Ambler's blog, so please follow the link.

"Glen was 50 feet tall!"

Professor Barnhardt's Journal puts this question to TV "critics, fans and those behind the scenes": What are your 10 favourite TV series?

Here's my top 12:

1. Mystery Science Theater 3000

and in no particular order:

The original Twilight Zone
The Simpsons
Whose Line Is It Anyway? (US version)
I Love Lucy
Hogan's Heroes
Monty Python
Biography
The original Star Trek

Honourable mentions to:

Leave It to Beaver (guilty pleasure)
NewsRadio

I should also vote for The A-Team as I really liked that show when I was a kid.

The stars didn't predict this

A Canadian professor--Ivan Kelly of the University of Saskatchewan--has helped with a study in the latest issue of the Journal of Consciousness Studies which debunks astrology. Prof. Kelly and Australian scientist and former astrologer Geoffrey Dean studied 2,000 people born in 1958. They "studied more than 100 different characteristics, including occupation, anxiety levels, marital status, aggressiveness, sociability, IQ levels and ability in art, sport, mathematics and reading - all of which astrologers claim can be gauged from birth charts", notes this Telegraph story on their study.

However, they found that when they grouped all the people by their date of birth that something unusual happened, if you put credence in astrology. Those who were born on the same day were often widely different from each other in many areas of their lives, instead of being sterotypical Leos, Scorpios and such.

Anyways, the Telegraph story has more details if you are interested.

Pud! Pud! Pud!

Dubble Bubble bubble gum displays some of its Pud comics online. I remember seeing different comics than these, as ours in Canada had to bilingual. One of Pud's friends, I remember vaguely, had his turtleneck sweater pulled up all the way to his nose.

When I was a little kid, this gum cost 2 cents each. Candy bars cost about 25 to 40 cents. When you bought hockey cards, they came with this rock hard stick of gum that was really hard to chew.

"Blogs Canada, our home and native land..."

Here's a link to Blogs Canada, a new website that collates links to over 6,000 Canadian weblogs as I write. I'm linking to their top ten list, which seems to be different than the one that Colby Cosh has on his website.

Gospel music was invented in Scotland...

theorizes Yale University professor, who figures that the psalm-singing of the Hebrides church eventually led to the gospel singing style of today.

We may rest assured, however, that singing hymns with a Donald Duck voice is an American idea all the way.

May I not help you?

Why the service industry is dying, or "if you pay peanuts, expect to hire monkeys". Kevin Michael Grace has the details on some sad tales when he tries to buy things.

Consuming mass quantities

I see that my friend Kevin has discovered what happens when you have two eating machines--aka teenage boys over for supper. Six pounds of food...gone. Still hungry.

He's another devotee of spaetzle, those little Eastern european dumplings. Ironically, I rediscovered spaetzle as a side dish in the cookbook How The World Cooks Chicken.

I was lucky

Colby Cosh is still owed some money by the Byfields:

There is no word from the former publishers of the Report on back vacation pay or statutory severance, even though the 60-day "temporary layoff" we were coerced into observing has now ended. No doubt you'll be reading more about this on other sites quite soon. I'm puzzled that they have chosen to handle the matter this way (i.e., by not handling it), even granting that the remaining assets of the company don't amount to much. I'm owed at least C$8,000, by the most conservative possible accounting. Because I'm in such a tight financial fix, I would happily sign away the debt for a good deal less than $8,000, if it arrived (a) quickly and (b) in cash. Go ahead, guys, exploit me! I'm just sitting here!

Hmm...that's odd. I was only owed a few hundred dollars and was finally paid earlier this month. No kill fee for the stuff I was working on, but hadn't filed yet...but I guess that I got off relatively lucky.

Funny...the GST rebate that the government owed to the magazine was supposed to pay everyone off, I understand.

Is Ben Mulroney gay?

Xtra, the Toronto gay newspaper, reports that Ben Mulroney is not gay, or at least not talking about it.

It doesn't matter to me if he is or not, but maybe everyone using search engine variants of "Ben Mulroney, gay" to stumble onto my weblog will know to look at the above linked article now. I seem to get a hit per day looking for information on that subject, so hopefully this is helpful to the curious.

Arnold Watch

"I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman."

--Arnold Schwarzenegger on the Sean Hannity radio show Wednesday, according to NewsMax.

Why is it that Arnold can say something like this yet not be laughed at as Dan Quayle was. Oh, he's not a conservative right-winger. Never mind.

How intercessory prayer helps businesses...

...an article from Christianity Today.

Come up with your own Dynomite! joke

Jimmie J.J. Walker has a weblog.

Thanks to Enter Stage Right.

Where's a rewrite desker when you need him?

22 things that need correction in The Bible.

ESPN's list...

...of the best sports-related inventions ever.

Does this mean I can keep the TV set too?

Thursday is the Holiday Inn Towel Amnesty Day. Not only will the chain forgive you for swiping their towels, they are also soliciting your favourite stories and anecdotes about your stolen towels.

Thanks to The G Spot.

Back to English lit

Evereybody's memorizing poetry over at National Review Online's Corner.

I wonder what poems my friend The Ambler would suggest that you memorize or read. He enjoys a lot of poetry.

No smiles please, we're Canadian

AFP is reporting that due to security concerns, the Canadian government doesn't want any expressions, let alone smiles, in passport photos.

Our facial muscles are all supposed to be frozen solid, I guess.

Donald Duck, Christian worship singer

Off several pages from MP3.com. Warning...you have to register, providing an e-mail address, to hear the music:

Tim Gibson Tim writes Christian worship songs and plays them solo with his guitar. They are songs to awaken the spirit to God and to be used in congregational worship or one's own quiet time with the Lord. He also sings like Donald Duck!

A fun version of Amazing Grace sung by Donald Duck.Please don't think this is trivializing the song asI don't think it is, but it's using a talent that I've used for kids camps that I believe will create a fresh interest in this beautiful song.

Story Behind the Song

When I saw there was an Amazing Grace radio
station on MP3 I thought it would be great to produce
a kids version and one that would also appeal to adults
using my talent of speaking and singing like
Donald Duck. This is the result.

Well. If you are brave, you could download Duck Praise, Mr. Gibson's "Donald Duckyfied" seven song CD. Here's the link.

He seems like a nice enough guy though. Here's his website.

*snicker*

Nice Tits--Pictures of Tits.

Thanks April Winchell.

"The balcony is closed"...minded

The Rightwing Film Geek is dismayed by the liberalism of film critic Roger Ebert.

Canadian Press belatedly discovers...

...the problem of judicial activism, in a story that moved on their wires this weekend.

For what it's worth, The Report, in its various incarnations, was all over this story for many years.

I'd have named this "Moses joins the Red Army"

From the online collection of Russian, Chinese and Cuban political posters The Chairman Smiles.

For all your Stalinist visual propaganda needs

An online collection of Stalin-era posters and artwork from the Socialist realist school: Propaganda Art.

Thanks Exclamation Mark.

Porn ain't fun

Tracy Lords' new autobiography reveals that she is having second thoughts about her career as an underage porn star, reports The Globe and Mail.

Thanks to Relapsed catholic, featuring a spiffy new redesign for the tip.

Sorority eye for the straight guy

Two nice young ladies write on their blog about how their makeover helped a male friend become more hunky looking.

I would ask for their advice myself, but I fear that they would advise the "We had to destroy the village in order to save it" approach.

If I were Glen Reynolds

Blogger Jay Solo tries to get noticed by the Lord thy God of Blogdom, aka Instapundit, by writing a song in the latter's honour.

The Lifecycle of a News Story

The Lemon's amusing take on this subject.

"Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor...?"
"Germans?"
"Forget it, he's rolling."

Many of the featured players in Animal House reunited to participate in a recent parade.

As featured on Fark

Holy Vision In Toilet Saves Gal From Suicide

*sigh*

A tribute page dedicated to the female Fox News Channel Anchors.

"....One might as well as ask a member of the shopping-cart community why his personal effects include a garbage bag filled with hundreds of pieces of plastic cutlery...."

The Ambler manfully tries to explain Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien's
recent pronouncements on morality and politics. The operative word here being "tries", as Mr. Chretien seems to run his thoughts through a blender set to "Puree" before opening his mouth to utter them.

Run away from your inbox, screaming

Is this the ultimate horrible spam e-mail. If not, it's dismayingly funny anyways...

For my singing frog readers

Here's a link to the sheet music to Hello! ma baby, the Warner Brother's Singing Frog's favourite song to sing. Disclaimer! Now you will find out why the cartooon warbler only sang the chorus of the song. Ewww...what lyrics!

It's part of the University of Colorado at Boulder's otherwise neat online Digital Sheet Music collection. Time to polish up The Aeroplane Rag or The Angle Worm Wiggle?

Thanks to Speckled Paint.

A very neat, retro, blog

I agree with Exclamation Mark...Speckled Paint is a neat weblog/website with lots of old, but intriguing, things to look at. Enjoy!

How to make homemade versions of brand-name foods

I like the Top Secret Recipes books, which show you how to make secret restaurant recipes at home. Some of the books' recipes are posted online at the Top Secret Recipes website.

Pacman fever online

Looking for something fun to do online at lunch? Play a flash version of Pacman here

"TERMINATOR 4: RECOUNT DAY"

The best thing on the ESPN webpage, Gregg Easterbrook's Tuesday Morning Quarterback, returns with some amusing suggestions for future movies Arnold Schwarzenegger can do.

But it's *holy* fecal matter

US evangelist Leroy Jenkins is in trouble for handing out well water from his farm that has been condemned by health officials. The story on this is here.

A new meaning to the term "radiant beauty"

A 1918 newspaper ad that promotes Radium Face Cream, with "a definite amount of Actual Radium--nature's greatest aid to Beauty" can be found at the online Gallery of Art and Illustration from the Pages of American Newspapers.

Thanks to Exclamation Mark.

"When politicians speak of children, hide the spoons."

National Review is unimpressed with Arnold and still likes Bill Simon

Time for book lovers to cry

My favourite Portland bookstore is Powell's, but Jeremy's affectionate tribute to the recently closed Fritzler's bookstore makes me wish that I had known about that bookstore too.

Not that it would have helped much, as whenever I have gone on a daytrip to Portland, it's been with my grandmother and she likes to stay in downtown Portland where Powell's--a used bookstore the size of a large department store--is. No usedbooks megastore where I live, unfortunately. If I ever hit the lottery, maybe I should open one.

Orgasm watch

"....In any event, it is my strong belief that the moment when Western Civilization became obsessed with the female orgasm coincided exactly with its final collapse...."

Kevin Michael Grace's post commenting on a response to his piece on The Vagina Monologues is very interesting reading.

Penthouse asks for bankruptcy protection

News item: Penthouse Publisher Files for Bankruptcy.

What, you can't make money on sex? What gives?

It's almost as odd as Hustler for the Lord, that quickie Christian publishing house's book celebrating Hustler publisher Larry Flynt's alleged conversion to Christianity in the 1970s.

Memo to fellow Report-sters: one slightly used magazine publishing empire, for sale, cheap! :). I can just imagine..."Dear editor, I am a student at a small Midwestern college. I never believed any of the letters that I read in this magazine until I had a recent experience of my own. One day the pretty girl who lives next door to me accidentally left her copy of The Conservative Mind in the common room of our dorm...."

Beware a "cult of personality"

I like how Rush explains that Arnold isn't another Reagan.

I would like to add however that some strong California conservatives thought that Reagan was a liberal in conservative's clothing. Kent Steffgen's book Here's the Rest of Him develops this thesis interestingly.

I'd much have another Reagan than a Governator, though. To paraphrase Jack Warner: "No, no, Ronald Reagan for governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger for best friend!"

Former Report-nik acquires power to decide who lives and who dies

My former colleague Jeremy Lott has some neat news about his new editing job. Check it out!

Congrats...

Good ol' free enterprise

Want Arnold for governator, er governor, bumper stickers? This site has 18 non-official ones.

It only took four days after his announcement. Are they slow or what?

I liked this bumper sticker, which opens for $5 on eBay.

Meanwhile, der Arnold has one webpage for his campaign. No position papers, but you can donate money.

I wonder if Arnold has slipped up. Does he plan to make no bumper stickers or other campaign stuff that he could sell around the world? Well, perhaps if he had ordered these to be produced that would have meant that a leak would have spoiled his surprise announcement on the Tonight Show.

"Hasta la vista, Grayby"

Mark Steyn's take on der Arnold's prospects:The Gubernator?

This might be Arnold's best chance to be elected governor, writes Steyn.

That will buy a lot of Humvees

Columnist's Daniel Weintraub's California Insider is following everything about the California gubernatorial election, including der Arnold's tax returns from 2001 and 2002. In 2002, he earned $26 million US!

Can you guess which one of these I own?

Yes, I own one of these Incredibly Strange Religious Records, which I bought on cassette? The page is fun to read at any rate, if you don't care to hazard a guess....

Do that to us one more time

Britney Spears is being considered for her own talk show, according to this weblogger, who is, shall we say, kind of sceptical.

When do I get my own talk show?

"I will throw you like the hammer throw!"

Kathy Shaidle has come up with a neat idea as she compiles the best quotes from the SCTV TV show. Are your favourite SCTV quotes or moments there yet?

Watch out, it's raining TVs!

Rachel Marsden watch

If you have come here looking for the latest information on Republican Babe Rachel Marsden, you may be interested in this National Post article, which shows that she likes to fudge and mislead in regards to her past.

Alas, I am not a hottie, so I must get by with the truth.

Zzzzzz....

My condolences to anyone who has to get up this early to go to work...as I just did. Anyways, I hope to have more posting and less kvetching soon.

What you running for, Willis?

Gary Coleman is running for goveror of California too, as a protest against what he says is the silliness of the recall process.

California governors race will end in tie--one vote each--after everybody in state runs

In a quick moving day for politics, Arnold Schwarzenegger announces that he will run for governor of California, as will Arianna Huffington. Jerry Springer, meanwhile, has withdrawn for his Senate bid and plans to concentrate on his TV show.

Buns ahoy!

By the way the aforementioned weblog below has weekly photo caption contests. See how you do!

Republican chick watch

While I am busy, please visit Right We Are!, a fine weblog put out by two self-described "Republican chicks".

Back soon...

Stupid US bank praises Hitlernomics

Glenview State Bank in Illinois has had to apologize for praising Hitler's economic policies in a bank newsletter.

Fark spotted it, but someone needs to point out that economic autarky and annexing neighbouring countries is unsound economics.

MANAGEMENT RULES

SICKDAYS
We will no longer accept a doctor's sick note as a proof of sickness.
If you are able to get to the doctor, you are able to come into work.

SURGERY
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you
need all your organs. You should not consider having anything
removed. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a
breach of employment....

More of this funny piece is posted at Savland.

Why Paul Tracy is winning

Kevin Michael Grace has posted a complete, never before seen story of Canadian race car driver Paul Tracy, who won the Molson Indy race in Vancouver this past weekend. Kevin not only has a new, recent, interview with Tracy...he also looks at the problems of CART and why NASCAR is winning the hearts of Americans. He has some perceptive quotes from Bobby Unser too.

Why Colby Cosh is so dead...if the world's dolphins emulate that Simpsons episode where the dolphins take over the world

My friend and former colleague Colby has written a very interesting op-ed explaining how Edmontonians are taking the death of Mavis, a beloved dolphin that lived in the superenormous West Edmonton Mall, far too seriously.

I encourage you to read the piece.

Arnold Watch

Californians will be voting on whether to recall Governor Gray Davis, and on who will replace him, on October 7. Arnold Schwarzenegger, however, has reportedly decided not to run. We'll know for sure on August 9, the filing date for the special election.

Best. Simpsons. Quotes. Ever.

The Best Quotes From, 'The Simpsons'...the Right Wing News list.

"Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done."

"You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine."

Prime Minister Homer

Politicians in New Zealand are using a recent Simpsons comic about Homer Simpson becoming Prime Minister of New Zealand to take pot shots at each other.

Well, I don't think that having Homer as your PM would be a bad thing. Now if Homer would be the Prime Minister of Canada, there could be some distinct advantages....

Ten Reasons why Homer Simpson should be Prime Minister of Canada:

1. He speaks English.

2. Homer's avid consumption of concession stand snacks adds much needed funds to Canada's national sports teams.

3. Canada's new Finance Minister: C. Montgomery Burns. "The National Action Committee for the Status of Women is here to ask for their annual grant, sir." "Release the hounds."

4. Currently threatened national postal strike averted as both union and Canada Post resolve to sign anything to avoid being in the room with annoying federal government negotiator Ned Flanders.

5. Homer's appointment of his father Abe Simpson to the Senate leads to unstoppable popular groundswell for elected Senate.

6. Alberta alienation calmed after "summit meeting" between PM Homer and Alberta Premier Ralph Klein at St. Louis Hotel in Calgary. Klein takes advantage of Homer's "tired and emotional" state to win important concessions for provinces.

7. There is no number 7.

8 Annoyed Homer, now an avid Canadian, rules that Stanley Cup must be awarded to top finishing Canadian team in the NHL playoffs, as the trophy was originally given to the top Canadian hockey team.

9 If Homer Simpson runs as a Liberal, this leads to boost of political right's fortunes as voters recall quiet dignity of Stockwell Day.

10. Canada's political bloggers, and the former Report writers and editors, get scads of freelance writing assigments and jobs as Homer's antics lead to Canadian "golden age" of political reporting, as entire world buys tons of Canadian newspapers and magazines to learn what Homer is doing now.

[I'd be happy to expand the list if you have suggestions of your own. My e-mail is in the "about" profile at left.]

We want a recount!

Teodoro Obiang Nguema, the recent re-elected president of Equatorial Guinea is God's right hand man, reports AFP via the Johannesburg Star:

Said the nation's state radio:

"...like God in heaven ... He [the president] has all power over men and things.

"He can decide to kill without anyone calling him to account and without going to hell because it is God himself, with whom he is in permanent contact, who gives him this strength."

I think they are hinting that they like the president. It's very subtle though.

Well, if he is omnipresent and omnipotent, I had better delete this post soon. (*whistling*) What am I writing? Oh...nothing.

South Africa...the next Zimbabwe?

Frozen in Montreal notes that local officials in Johannesburg have ordered the removal of security barriers and fences on local streets that were designed, by the homeowners who put them up, as anti-crime measure. He then asks:

...is this move actually to create a (thief-?) friendly atmosphere, or is this the first phase of a South African attempt to "pull a Mugabe", as it were, and get rid of Whitey?

Well, I don't think that the government in South Africa is that dumb. Encouraging the continued mass exodus of the middle and upper classes (read:whites) is not that smart. Nobody likes to see crime.

That said, however, "crime" may be defined uniquely amongst some activists in South Africa. I recently saw a documentary film on the songs that blacks used to fight apartheid. You couldn't fault them for being upset back then, but there seems to be an occasional lapse in what they sung. I was quite surprised to see a group of blacks singing a 30 year old song about killing whites with "machine guns." This was a large group gathering to sing the good old songs of the anti-apartheid days well *after* apartheid had been overthrown. The film's audience didn't seem to blanch at what was sung, which I was surprised by.

Such rhetoric does not compare to the real injustices that non-whites suffered, but one would think that blacks, more than anyone else in South Africa, would not want to embrace violence as a way of getting even.

Fortunately most South Africans seem committed to embracing peace, but one has to wonder if there remains a constituency for violenent solutions. Let's hope not.

An online guide to...

Whsitling Records.

The worst comic book superhero costumes ever...

...according to retroCRUSH.

I hope I am not a "gluton"


You're Homer and his deadly Sin -
Gluttony!


Which
Simpsons Character / 7th Deadly Sin Are You?
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Six degrees of Paul Erdos

Academia's version of the "Kevin Bacon" game...the
[Paul]Erdos Number. Try to find a mathematics expert with a large Erdos number!.

A tip of my blogging fedora to Mr. Goldberg.

By the way for those of you who, like me, did everything, including using silent movie bit players and Bollywood actors, in a feeble attempt to hit a high Bacon score...there is the Associate Degrees of Kevin Bacon game, which can link anybody to Kevin Bacon using some mystical process... Yes, even you are linked to Kevin Bacon in some mysterious, amusing way. Try it!

Not on the Iranian ayatollahs' Christmas list

A list of blogs that the Iranian government is trying to keep Iranians from seeing. They're worthy of support, I'd say. The blogs, I mean.

Ten Million, the famous Victoria baseball player

While browsing for information on a book I'm currently reading, I learned about noted Victoria baseball player of the teens Ten Million.. Yes that was his real name!

Tom Hawthorn of the Globe and Mail writes:

In 1911, Victoria signed a fleet outfielder who was the son of prominent Washington State judge E. C. Million and his eccentric wife. She had dubbed the boy Ten, as in Ten Million. (In those days, that was a name, not a salary.) He had a sister named Decillion, which is 33 zeroes if you're keeping score at home. She called herself Dixie.

Ten Million hit .276 for the [Victoria] Bees and was signed by Cleveland of the American League. Injuries kept him from the big leagues. For a time, he played outfield for the Robin Hoods of Moose Jaw, Sask.

A free Internet cartoon

Squinkers Today's cartoon is amusing...but not if you are a kid who likes coffee.

An internet radio program featuring independent artists...

Whole Wheat Radio

They saved Hitler's planes

Odd story of the day: Fully armed Nazi bomber planes 'buried below East Berlin airport'.

By the way, buried deep in the story is the revelation that there have been some searches conducted under the airport with nothing found. That said, there's some interesting background on how "bunker happy" the Nazis in Berlin were. "...for every one metre of building above ground in modern-day Berlin, there are three metres below ground..."

"Satan hails new additions to Hell"

Enter Stage Right prints the press release about Satan's latest hires, the Hussein boys.

Free idea for a website or book

I was just wondering about the history of the filmstrip, but found little that was helpful on Google.

You know that would make for a good book or website. I'll bet that lots of us who went to school in the ancient era before Power Point might be intrigued by such an idea.

Perhaps Skip Elsheimer of A/V Geeks might wish to have a go at that. He has some filmstrips on his website that you can look at, and listen to.

[beep!]

Mug shots of the rich and infamous

This page at The Smoking Gun is where you will find some.

Get thee behind me, Mayor McCheese

A satirical article on diet control in a church newsletter receives serious coverage in an English newspaper after implying that McDonald's was created by Satan.

I love this line from the story: McDonald's yesterday insisted it was not the work of Satan.

Site of the day

I saw several interesting subjects at FaithWriters.com, which dubs itself "The home for the Christian writer".

If that's your cup of tea, enjoy.

Psalm 23 for the politically correct

Here's a piece of netlore that I thought you might enjoy. Two internet search engine searches didn't find me an author for this piece, which I saw here. It may, however, be based on a similar version, which was written by Robert Irvin and David Grasby.

Anyways, enjoy!


"The Lord and I are in a shepherd-sheep relationship,
and I am in a position of negative need.

He prostrates me in a green-belt grazing area, and
conducts me into lateral proximity with a
non-torrential aqueous accumulation.

He restores to original satisfaction levels my
psychological makeup.
Notwithstanding the fact that I make ambulatory
progress through the non-illuminated geological
interstice of mortality, terror sensations shall not
be manifest within me due to the proximity of
omnipotence.

Your pastoral walking aid and quadruped-restraint
module induce in me a pleasurific mood state.

You design and produce a nutrient-bearing support
structure in the context of non-cooperative elements.

You enact a head-related folk ritual utilizing
vegetable extracts, and my beverage container
exhibits inadequate volumetric parameters.

Surely it must be an intrinsic non-deductible factor
that your inter-relational, emphatic, and non-vengeful
attributes will pursue me as their target focus for
the duration of the current non-death period.

And I will possess tenant rights in the residential
facility of the Lord on a permanently open-ended time
basis.

Amen."

"Look at me, I'm Canada....I'm perfect...la dee dah."

Dizzy Girl is annoyed at Canada after reading a transcript of that mock apology to the United States that Colin Mochrie delivered on This Hour Has 22 Minutes earlier this year. Snopes, the urban legend debunker, has confirmed that these satirical words were delivered by Mochrie (please follow the link for further links and details), although they have been widely credited to Rick Mercer. I think that the source of this confusion may be due to Mercer delivering a similar (if not identical) routine on the Just for Laughs stage in Montreal. I may even have seen footage of that on TV...but I can't provide a cite, so please don't quote me.

Dizzy Girl, well, I would be annoyed too. Miss Girl should know that that is the Central Canadian Media Elite Axis Of Evil talking. Most Canadians get along amicably with the U.S.. It doesn't mean that the U.S. is perfect, mind you, but Canadian politicians and entertainers have been having a hissy fit at the U.S.' s expense.

Manley: "No Mas!"

John Manley has withdrawn from the federal Liberal leadership race, which means that Paul Martin will almost certainly be Canada's next Prime Minister.

(This expands on my newfound Criswell-like predictive abilities, as I predicted that Martin would win in my Blogcritics interview. Although, that prediction is the same as predicting that a horse will win the Kentucky Derby...)

Seriously, though, there is a interesting subtext in the story I linked above. Manley has been quite critical of Martin, and there is unattributed talk from Martin's minions that Manley was going to be dumped as Finance Minister if he kept on with his campaign.

This illustrates the excessive presidential powers that Canada's Prime Minsters have now. Paul Martin is already wielding Prime Minister-like clout even though he hasn't become Prime Minister yet.

Leadership campaigns are the best chance for changing the ideological direction of a party, and it is a bit frightening to think that people can now be dissuaded from following though on their leadership bids. That is how power politics works, I guess, but it's probably not healthy for Canada's body politic.

Link of the day

White Trash Recipes

Some of these recipes may surprise you with their deliciousness. Please check out the home of the Deep Fried Mars Bar and 7-Up Cake

Singing...dancing...Is facial make-up next?

Baptist Press is reporting on a U.S. group, Church Musicals Inc., which is suggesting that churches use Broadway-style musicals as an evangelistic tool.

More power to them. Yet, as a former Baptist, the idea of Baptists on Broadway will take me some time to get used to.

A neat way to be famous

Blogger Anne has been given eternal fame in a small way. A wiseacre friend, who works for a video game company, has made her the last enemy, "Evil Anne", to be defeated in his new video game.

Did a serial killer dump victims near my parents' house?

My parents live in a small town in southern B.C. How small? It's so small that the town's burghers will probably have kittens when they read about a search for dead bodies nearby as this follow-up story about the search for alleged victims of an alleged serial killer starts making Canadian newspapers on Monday morning.

Robert Pickton, a Port Coquitlam pig farmer, is alleged to have killed at least 15 women from Vancouver's skid road. Following a break in the case, 52 scientists will soon start combing a parcel of Fraser Valley wetlands to search for alleged victims. (There's a mistake in the CP story linked above, by the way. At least part of the slough that is being searched sits in Maple Ridge, which is next to Mission.)

The slough is near, but not too near, where my parents live, so when my mother gave me a lift home this afternoon we made sure to drive by and see if there was any excitement. There was. On a Sunday afternoon, they had already erected wire storm fencing along both sides of the Lougheed Highway, which is the main arterial road for the region and happens to border the search area.

Several police cars were already in place and police had erected an electronic sign banning anyone from walking along the road past the search site. Cars and motorcycles are banned from stopping and no flights over the search area are allowed. However, I did manage to see that they had a trailer there already and were erecting a wind shelter. A heavy truck was there along with a smaller truck with a "cherry picker". I saw a team of six men already wading though the marshy land, one carrying a shovel and another a ladder.

This is big news as nothing ever happens where my parents live. It's quiet and sleepy, but unfortunately the only time that the area makes the national news is when people snap and death ensues. My parents, nevertheless, will be quite safe.

By the way, I should also note, for airship fans, that the Goodyear Blimp flew low over the strip mall where Mom and I ate lunch today. We thought it was neat.